WHOM should I be while helping?
Always remember your role.
**You are not a trained psychiatrist nor a trained psychologist. Help them with support, especially in getting them to help.**
Who I am. I am a helper.
I can be sad with them in their grief. I can be excited about their victories.
I can speak the truth with love and I can be patient with kindness.
Who I am not. I am not a doormat.
It is never okay for someone to
physically or emotionally abuse under any guise. Period.
If someone draws you into unhealthy behaviors, you must set boundaries that reinforce what is healthy.
(Note: Being around somebody who is mentally ill can be very taxing. What I'm referring to is not allowing yourself to be compromised as a helper. You need to get help for yourself as well. It may be something such as breaks or support groups...try NAMI.)
How do I help? You are the helper. You can advocate, encourage them, get resources, watch a movie, make a sandwich,
sometimes just a hug or listening!
Ultimately the goal should be to get that person
to good resources so that
they gain the ability
to function as independently as possible. YOU CANNOT BE EVERYTHING TO THEM. It is a disservice to them and you.
You cannot compromise your position of helper.
Don't deny the problem or participate in unhealthy behavior.
You cannot know fully what they experience. I do suggest reading about it.
You cannot fix them. Get them to help if possible. Help them to find good professionals.
(Make phone calls or drive them there, etc.)
DO NOT try to change their behavior, it's exhausting and almost always ineffective.
You should have assistance too. Get outside help just for you.
Being support, in any capacity, can be stressful.
Mental illness is not something that will go away, (to my knowledge.)
Much of it is not denying that it is, nor saying that it is not; rather, acceptance of what is.
If you remember that, you will be better off in reality and less disillusioned. So will they.
All of us have struggles. That is the great unification point.